Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukah, Blessed Kwanza, Happy New Year

As most people know, this is my favorite time of year.  I do believe in miracles, hope for the future, love of family and friends, gathering and giving, and being thankful for all the blessings we have.  It's a very warm time of year.  And despite our many trials and as many times as we have been kicked down, I can still feel that warmth.  What most may NOT know, is that today, December 15th is the 8 year anniversary of my first (blind) date with Tim.  I've spent the last 8 years with the love of my life and for that I am forever grateful.

The last time that I wrote, I had just completed my third round of chemo.  I followed that one up with a fourth and final round of that regimen just prior to Halloween.  With the help of a blood transfusion sometime in there, I bounced back pretty well from that last round.

We had our much anticipated Mayo appointment November 18th, and I admit that I was terrified.  At this appointment they completed repeat bloodwork and CT scans of my neck, chest, abdomen and pelvis.  We met with Dr. Banck, and the results were mixed.  The chemo regimen that I had been on worked pretty well on the liver and lymph node lesions.  The liver lesions have shrunk down and some of the lymph node lesions were gone.  However, the chemo had no effect on the bone lesions, which have advanced down the entirety of my spine, a few on my pelvis, and she states that there are some on the ribs (although those were not outlined in radiology reports).  We were pleased to hear about the soft tissue lesions, but the bone advancement was difficult to hear.  Dr. Banck ordered another regimen with an added medication that research has shown to stop bone lesion growth.  We left Rochester with very mixed feelings, but knowing another plan was in place.  I will return there January 18th for follow-up testing, and I will also be meeting with my radiation oncologist to determine his perspective on treatment.

I have since then started on my new regimen that I am tolerating very well.  I now only have to be in Fargo 4-5 hours one day for IV infusions.  At the end of infusions, I am fitted with a pump attached to my port that delivers another type of chemo over the course of 46 hours.  I am able to have this removed at the hospital in Lisbon.  This regimen hasn't made me very sick, but it does have a strange side effect that makes me have to avoid anything cold.  Contact with something cold shoots a strange pain to that area that feels a lot like extreme frost bite.  It's very strange.  I have also had to have a second blood transfusion as my hemoglobin keeps going down.  The explanation is that the chemo kills cells, but it cannot differentiate between new good cells and new cancer cells.  During times my hemoglobin is low, I am very lethargic and have no energy at all.  After a transfusion, I feel amazing, almost like myself again.  I will go again for my next regimen Monday the 21st.  Luckily the pump will be removed before all the festivities!

My family and I have been processing this information for a long time.  I have been dealing with cancer on and off now for the past four years, and I have no intentions of giving up anytime soon.  I have made in abundantly clear to my physicians that they WILL try anything and everything if needed until this wretched disease is gone.

I know at times I often feel that people handle me with kids' gloves.  I was offering assurance to a friend the other day regarding a problem, and she told me that she doesn't want to bother me with her problems because I have enough and hers pale in comparison.  I told her I didn't want to hear that. Everyone has their own struggles that they deal with everyday, and I don't want others to feel like their problems aren't valid.  I'm still me, and I love being there for my friends and family whenever they need me.  Also, you don't need to be delicate around me.  I still have fun and try make the best out of everything.  I'm not sitting home feeling sorry for myself.  It's ok to give me grief about my bald head.  It doesn't bother me, and I actually find it funny.  Arya says I have Barbie hair (because of the Cancer Asso. Barbie she was given).  Leighton just mimics everyone saying "bald head, bald head" repeatedly.  Corbin's is the best.  He told me I looked like a light bulb.  Touche, buddy.

As I said earlier, the holidays are my favorite time of year, and I haven't slowed down due to this distraction.   I felt alright despite chemo on Halloween, so I threw a quick costume together and joined my family at Fort Ransom's Trunk or Treat.  Arya was an adorable little Minnie Mouse with Leighton and Corbin played the role of Mickey.  Nearly the whole month of November, Deb and I worked on decorating my house.  I typically go all out, but this year our house was on the annual tour of homes, so we went over the top.  I loved it.  We had a lot of fun doing it, as usual.  Tom and Deb left prior to Thanksgiving.  We celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving at Barry and Linda Kylstad's with half their family and all the Isleys.  The Saturday after Thanksgiving was the tour.  With a lot of help from Mom, Teresa, Alayna and Leah, my house was emaculate and well staged.  Toot Toot. Two more of my college girlfriends joined us for the event, so I was able to have a great girls night with some of my besties.  I had 119 people sign my guest book that night.  It was a great fundraiser.
We also had Santa here in Fort.  Arya was prepared to tell Santa what she wanted, but she froze up a little when meeting him.  We got a great picture, but she had to sit with Momma.  She was going to tell him she wanted a horse.  Maybe one day that'll happen.  I've finished shopping and all my wrapping and cards were sent.  Cards are one of my favorite traditions.  We had friends over this past weekend for an adult get together, and we had a great time.  I hadn't gotten out much in recent weeks, so it was pretty fun.

All in all, we are making the most of the holidays, and not taking any of our time together forgranted. We still have a lot on our schedule coming up including visits from friends, Tom and Deb's return, school and church programs, etc.  I want to send a big thank you to all of you who have sent gifts, cards, food and delicious Christmas treats.  We have such great friends, neighbors and family.  Your generosity is so appreciated.  To anyone who has wanted to stop by but feels that they are intruding, you're not.  We like the company, and I do still like to talk just as much as I ever did.  Tim, Arya and I would like to wish everyone a Blessed Holiday Season and a very Merry Christmas filled with Faith, Hope, Joy and Love.